Παρασκευή, 31 Ιουλίου 2009

"Never Forget, Never Forgive"

Την περασμένη βδομάδα δέχθηκα ένα τηλεφώνημα απο τα ξένα για να μάθω μετά απο ένα χρόνο τον λόγο που ο επι πέντε χρόνια γκόμενός μου με παράτησε χωρίς καμιά εξήγηση. Προφανώς και τα κορίτσια περίμεναν να περάσει καιρός και μόλις είδαν πως μάλλον είμαι έτοιμη να το ακούσω μου το ξεφούρνισαν. Τα έφτιαξε μου είπαν με μια λεφτού, που δεν ξέρει που να τα βάλει. Εντάξει, δεν αντέδρασα. Μου είχαν περάσει όλα απο το μυαλό κι ό,τι και να άκουγα πλέον δε θα μου φαινόταν παράξενο. Να, όμως, είναι άλλο να το υποθέτεις κι άλλο να είναι σίγουρο. Μια χαρά μου λένε, μια ξερόλας είναι σαν αυτόν. Ταιριάζουν πάρα πολύ. Και κλείνουμε το τηλέφωνο.



'Εχετε νιώσει ποτέ τόσα πολλά πράγματα που να μην τα χωράει το μέσα σας? Και να μη μπορείτε να τα διαχωρίσετε, να μην ξέρετε... τι έχω τώρα, θυμό, μίσος, ζήλια, πόνο, απελπισία κι άλλα, πολλά άλλα, όλα μαζί και παρ'όλα αυτά απλά να κοκαλώνετε? Καμία αντίδραση, γιατί όλα είναι πολύ λίγα, γιατί τίποτα δε θα βοηθούσε..



Προσπάθησα να το συζητήσω με τους φίλους μου. Δε με αφήνουν. Όλοι μου λένε το ίδιο πράμα: "Ακόμα ασχολείσαι? Get over it επιτέλους!!" Και μετά απορώ γιατί μου βγήκε τόσο μίζερο αυτό εδώ το blog... ΄



Κοιτάξετε να δείτε. Αυτές τις μέρες εξαιτίας του νέου μιζεριάζω συχνά. Και κλαίω ακόμα πιο συχνά. Δεν έκλαψα όμως ποτέ γιατί μου έλειψε, γιατί τον αποθύμησα, γιατί κοιμάται και ξυπνά με άλλη. Ποτέ. Κλαίω γιατί για χρόνια κάναμε όνειρα -μόνη μου προφανώς- περιμένοντας να τελειώσουμε πτυχία, μεταπτυχιακά, στρατό κι όταν έφτασε η ώρα να τα υλοποιήσουμε, στο msn, ούτε καν να με πάρει ένα τηλέφωνο, μου ανακοίνωσε πως ο κόσμος αλλάζει και τα πράματα αλλάζουν κι αυτός άλλαξε και θέλει άλλα πράματα. Αυτό. Τον πήρα τηλέφωνα, του έστειλα μηνύματα, emails, "Τι στο καλό λαλείς?" Δεν απάντησε ποτέ. Απαξίωση... Δεν κλαίω που βρήκε άλλη, μακάρι να ζήσουν τα πλάσματα ευτυχισμένα, κλαίω που δεν εθεώρησε ότι άξιζα μιαν εξήγηση. Να κάτσει να μου πεί κάτι, ξέρεις κόρη μου, επειδή εβαρέθηκα σε ήβρα άλλην, κάτι να έλεγε. Κάτι, ό,τι να ναι να έλεγε. 'Ενα ψέμα. Συγκεκριμένο όμως. Οχι να με ξεπετάξει με μια αερολογία και να εξαφανιστεί για πάντα. 'Ολα θα ήταν αλλιώς αν κάτι έλεγε. Κλαίω γιατί μου συμπεριφέρθηκε ανήθικα. Κλαίω γιατί δεν το επερίμενα ποτέ απο αυτόν. Και οχι, δεν ξέρω αν αυτό μπορέσω να το ξεπεράσω ποτέ.



Ο Σάββας μου είπε: O άνθρωπος ήταν ανάμεσα σε δύο επιλογές. Κοίτα το λογικά. Να ξεκινούσε τη ζωή του μαζί σου, άρα αυτόματα, πλην 300 χιλιάδες, δάνειο, που θα γινόταν 65 χρονών να το ξεχρεώσει και την άλλη επιλογή να ξεκινήσει τη ζωή του με δεν ξέρω κι εγώ πόσο συν, συγνώμη αλλά κι εγώ την ίδια επιλογή θα έκανα.

'Ομως ξέρετε, εγώ δε θα έκανα αυτή την επιλογή και φανταστείτε, δεν τον αποθύμησα ποτέ. Τον μπάσταρδο!

54 σχόλια:

Φώτης Μ. είπε...

....και διαβάζοντας την ανάρτησή σου, καταλαβαίνω γιατί σου τράβηξε την προσοχή η "ακτινογραφία" μου! θα σου ευχηθώ υπομονή, δεν ξέρω τί άλλο....!

Mairyliscious είπε...

syggnwmh alla dn sumfwnw katholou me ton tupo pu pe oti tha kane thn idia akribws epilogh
gia mena oi anthrwpoi pou epilegoun thn eukolh lush to xrhma kai proskunoun se auto einai apla dustuxeis
kai dn me noiazei giati ekeinoi einai eutuxismenoi as einai loipon
pragmatika lupamai giati auto einai odunhro pu perases alla xairomai giati dn aksize na eisai me enan anthrwpo pu protimhse to portofoli kapoias auto shmainei oti ana pasa stigmh opoiodhtpote allo portofoli tha ton trabaga makrua sou opote sto kalo
lupamai polu giati 5 xronia toses stigmes kai oneira duskolo na ta kseperaseis alla auto htan ena kalo mathima tha mou peis aurio methaurio mporei na gnwriseis kapoion kai na thn kanei pali pote dn ksereis kai sigouro einai oti fobasai kai oi filoi su gia kalo sto lene na mhn pikrainesai alla ti na kaneis h zwh sunexizetai kai su aksizei to kalutero kunhghse to!

x-man είπε...

Νομίζω έχεις αρχίσει να βρίσκεις τον δρόμο σου. To get over it των κολλητών σου φίλων μάλλον αρχίζει να γίνεται πράξη. Το μαρτυράει η πρός όλους εμάς κοινοποίηση της δυσάρεστης εμπειρίας σου.
Το οτι δεν αποτελείς μοναδική περίπτωση μάλλον δεν χρειάζεται να το αναφέρω.Θα συμφωνήσω με την Mairyliscious και θα προσθέσω: Γλύτωσες από τα χειρότερα.
Στηρίξου στους πραγματικούς φίλους και τους δικούς σου ανθρώπους,και όλα θα πάνε καλύτερα. (C@mail)

Καλό ΣΚ

Ασκαρδαμυκτί είπε...

Φεγγαρούλα, σίγουρα ένας άνθρωπος που την κάνει τόσο εύκολα γυριστή, στο μέλλον, αν μένατε μαζί, θα σου δημιουργούσε τεράστια προβλήματα και ίσως ανεπανόρθωτα!
Η αλήθεια είναι πως βρέθηκα κι εγώ σε κάπως ανάλογη θέση, αλλά εκ των υστέρων αποδείχθηκε "σωτήρια" για μένα. Κι εκεί που στενοχωριόμουνα, τώρα ευχαριστάω το θεό που ξέμπλεξα νωρίς!

Αν μένεις Αθήνα, κανόνισε να πιούμε κανένα καφεδάκι ρε χαζό. Κερνάω φρεντοτσίνο ή ό,τι άλλο γουστάρεις...

Dorothea είπε...

ξέρω ότι τώρα που πονάς αυτό που θα σου γράψω θα ακουστεί σαν παρηγορία αλλά είναι αλήθεια: καλύτερα που έφυγε τώρα παρά αργότερα.

από την πείρα μου οι σχέσεις που αρχίζουν από τα εφηβικά χρόνια σπάνια στεριώνουν κι όταν το κάνουν είναι γιατί αυτά τα άτομα μεγαλώνουν και εξελίσσονται μαζί. τις περισσότερες φορές χωρίζουν γιατί μεγαλώνουν και αλλάζουν σαν άτομα. είναι φυσικό επακόλουθο της ωρίμανσης.

σκέψου το κι έτσι, θα ήθελες να είσαι με ένα τόσο παραδόπιστο τύπο; στο μακροπρόθεσμο στάδιο νομίζω πως όχι. νομίζω πως γλύτωσες από αυτόν και στο μέλλον θα τον ευγνομωνείς. αν έμενες μαζί του θα έχανες την ευκαιρία να γνωρίσεις αυτόν που πραγματικά θα σε αγαπά και θα σε κάνει ευτυχισμενη.

υπομονή κι όλα θα πάνε καλά!

homo anisorropus είπε...

Eides Fwti pws 8a mporouse kallista na itan kai diki mou i aktinografia..


Mairyliscious mou opws ta les einai. Kai telika ontws ws ma8ima to eida olo auto pou mono phra.


Sumfwnw apoluta x-man mou. To 3erw pws eimai se kalo dromo. To niw8w :) Kai ontws to megalutero ma8ima aytis tis empeirias eixe na kanei me to noima tis filias. Me stiri3an toso oso den eperimena, de me afisan stigmi moni, xwris erwtiseis, xwris giati, de mporeis na fantasteis..
(c@mail)



Askar to 3erw. An kati mou edeikse i sumperifora tou einai pws den a3ize. Elpizw ki egw mia mera na eyxaristw to 8eo gia olo ayto. Kai oxi de menw A8ina :( Alla tin epomeni fora pou 8a er8w 8a enimerwsw oti xrwstas kerasma.



De mou akougetai ka8olou san parigoria Dorothea mou. To 3erw pws etsi einai. To'xw filosofisei kamposo kai to pisteyw pragmatika pws oti egine, egine gia kalo.

afigisis είπε...

τι μαλακας ο τυπος. Hug. Ξερω τι εννοεις, τι απαισιο το ασχημο τελος.

homo anisorropus είπε...

ontws... oso wraia kai na perases me kapoion, an to telos einai tetoio ta diagrafei ola. Kai einai toso krima.

maria είπε...

καλη μου γλυτωσες νωρις!!ευτυχως που δεν ''ανοιξες σπιτι'' μαζι του αργα η γρηγορα θα σε πουλουσε και πιστεψε με το αργοτερα θα ηταν πιο πικρο.Τα πουλημενα τομαρια ποτε δεν δινουν εξηγησεις καθαρες,κρυβονται παντα πισω απο κατι η απο καποιον...

homo anisorropus είπε...

To nwris einai sxetiko :) Pente xronia apo ti zwi mou mou fainontai pws pigan xamena...Kalosorises

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Playing bingo needs more than luck or skills and techniques, contrary to what most believe. Bingo, just like any game of chance, comes with rules and regulations that players should observe. Being a player comes with responsibilities and etiquette.

Winning the Game

The moment you figured out you won, you must immediately yell BINGO, and it should be loud enough for the floor walker to hear. The pot money shall be given to the winner once their winning card is confirmed. Well, in winning or once you know you just won, the most important thing is that you shout the winning word BEFORE the time elapses. If the game proceeds and the next number is mentioned and you failed to shout "Bingo", your winning card is disqualified. Therefore, this is the rule you must know.

There may be cases when there are two winners, and in this case the pot money shall be divided equally among the winners. Supposing there are two winning cards, the two winners will share half the prize money.

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Interestingly, some venues offer special bingo games for kids although some halls don't allow players to have companions while playing. Suppose you bring kids with you, don't let them run around the venue and bother other gamers. They should behave well whilst you play and the game proceeds. Play quietly and don't recite the numbers you desperately want to come off because you'll be much of a disturbance if you do. Decorous playing is expectant of all players, even those who play roulette at casinos. Also, having a valid identification is important because you don't know you might win and need to present credentials.

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